This is how I know I am indeed 35.
’m typing this post after another languid, candlelit bath, with a hydrating face mask on and a cup of hibiscus tea steeping towards perfection, as indicated by its deep purple hue. I am undoubtedly the most peaceful, calm and well-rested version of myself because I just came back from a trip where I spent an entire week sleeping my way towards that state.
Picture it: I had just narrowly escaped the 3-degree, wet and grey weather that assaulted Johannesburg in mid-August and a short four-and-a-half-hour flight carried me to an island that lies to the east of South Africa. Within minutes of landing, I had to dig into my carry-on to fish out a small handheld fan to fight off the humid, 26-degree weather that greeted me. I was in Mauritius for work, attending the annual AJEN Roundtable to be precise. This would be the fifth one I attended, and the ‘worker’ in me only ever tacked on a day or two post-conference to ‘see’ the countries we found ourselves in (Kenya, Ghana, Rwanda so far). Always rushing back to my normal routine, and the deadlines and students that ‘needed’ me. This year was the first time I said, you know what, no, let’s not do that again.
So, uncharacteristically, but very much in the spirit of slowing down and savouring my life a bit more, I tacked on not two but seven days of leave post-conference to enjoy the island and some much needed alone time. In another surprise move, I planned nothing. No walking tours. No trips to the market. No museum passes. No dinner reservations. Nothing. I wanted to rest. Truly rest. Not in stolen naps, a singular spa treatment, or a once off lie in. I had never been on a trip like that. I am usually the type of traveller that packs in as many activities as possible, operating from what I now recognise as a slight scarcity mindset. The idle hours reminders of the fact that I might never be here again and I needed something to show for the time that I was there. Not this time.

This time, I dropped some big girl money and booked myself into an all-inclusive resort. Knowing that I wanted my only decision-making to be what I would be wearing, eating and how much I would be sleeping on any given day. Anyone who knows me knows I love sleep. It’s one of my favourite things to do. I need a minimum of eight hours to be okay and feel at one with my body. The working week doesn’t consistently allow for that, however, which is why I was so desperate for a couple of days in a row that would guarantee uninterrupted, non-alarm-induced waking, sleep. And this solo vacation allowed me to do just that – sleep whenever I wanted, whether on a lounge chair, beach towel or my actual bed for the week. The freedom to do as little or as much as I wished at any given moment, a rare and luxurious treat. Changing my mind mid-walk or mid-meal about something, a decision with no knock-ons or elaborate discussions that can come with group trips. This was also my first genuine solo vacation overseas, which offered a tranquillity I had never experienced before.
Not being rushed is the thing I walked away with as a new truth about myself. I loved having the freedom to blow off going to breakfast if I felt like I was moving faster than I needed to while getting ready for it. Or not hitting snooze, but turning my alarm off completely and sleeping for however much longer I needed. Or skipping a planned event because squeezing a quick shower and change into the 30-minute window between now and then just seemed unnecessary. These small acts solidified how dysregulating being rushed is to me. I actually hate it and doing it forces me to move at a tempo that betrays what I imagine is my natural rhythm. Which is why I like arriving early to things; ordinarily, I would rather mill about or just sit and let my mind wander for some time, instead of stumbling into my plans, with a racing mind and an elevated heart rate.
The trip also reminded me of one of the most impactful podcast episodes I have ever listened to, Rest for Them on Nocturne. An episode with the Nap Ministry’s Tricia Hersey, whose work reinforces the fact that rest is not a reward we earn, but a human right we should all have more consistently than we do. The episode found me during the pandemic, and I really think it helped shift my brain chemistry in a lasting way. Overwork is not something I exalt as a result, and I actively work against it when I can. She helped me begin the unravelling of conflating what I do with who I am. And I guess the way I got to rest on this trip served as an example of what the pinnacle of real rest looks and feels like. To more. To much more.













