Literary Postmortem: The Girl With the Louding Voice by Abi Daré

Things just kept getting worser and worser with each page I turned in this read, the sheer volume of violence and injustice both overwhelming and infuriating. Which is why I could barely put it down and sometimes spent an extra two or three hours reading before bed, I was captivated by Adunni and Daré’s literary presentation of life in rural and urban Nigeria in the early 2010s. 

I had heard much about the protagonist, Adunni before even opening this book from friends and people I go to the same internet with, mostly because of how she speaks. Daré makes the deliberate decision to write Adunni’s thoughts, fears and hopes in the broken English of a 14-year-old who didn’t quite finish school, which is true to the character and adds so much honesty to her story. The “nonstandard English” spoken by Adunni was less confusing than expected and often times more descriptive to me of the situations she found herself in, phrases like “the sky have eat up the morning sun” to describe an overcast sky, and “cold is spreading rashes all over my body” to describe goosebumps, provide such clear imagery. I think for me, the language alone was the thing that allowed me to be steeped in Adunni’s innocence and fostered an intimacy that kept me ‘on side’ no matter how bad things got for her.

Adunni’s tale is coloured by various indignities, violations and brazen injustice. The thing that keeps readers afloat is her determination to somehow overcome those odds. I usually hate an ‘against all odds’ narratives, in which wave after wave of evil is meant to simply be thwarted by sheer resilience, but Adunni’s character implores you to stay with her through all of it. She is fuelled by the prospect of different outcomes, which keeps your hope alive as well, despite the deep poverty, child marriage, domestic violence and slavery of it all. 

The chapters are short but jam-packed, which makes for a fast-paced, page-turning adventure. Daré has written some of the most endearing and repulsive characters, people like Big Madam and Morufu filled me with unspeakable rage. While their context and complex backgrounds are unpacked and do shed light on why they are the way they are, it’s a cold comfort when the object of their frustration and abuse of power is a little girl.

From about halfway through, I appreciated and even looked forward to the foreshadowing at the start of chapters, provided by whatever fact was quoted from ‘The Book of Nigerian Facts’. I like my fictional reads injected with some historical tidbits that feed my insatiable need to know things. The facts about Nigeria were fascinating and sobering, for example: 

“Fact: Child marriage was made illegal in 2003 by the Nigerian government. Yet, an estimated 17% of girls in the country, particularly in the northern region of Nigeria, are married before the age of 15.” – page 194/Chapter 35

I was looking forward to finding out some more of these revelatory facts in the book once I purchased a copy, only to find it was a fictional book used for the purposes of the narrative in the pages of this novel 😦 There is, however, a Nigerian Facts Book published in 2022, which I imagine aims to do the job of the book Adunni uses to learn about her country and her life really. 

In short, it’s a harrowing but highly entertaining read, filled with twists and turns that will still your sensibilities. I will probably never read it again because of how much trauma lives in it’s pages but I would recommend it. Best bits below.

Sunday Scribble #8: Enough with the prettiness, give us good food Joburg

The true cost of aesthetically pleasing establishments is our tastebuds.

Eating out in Johannesburg is often a 50/50 risk, which will still cost you an arm and a leg whether you are satiated or not. One thing about this city, is it’s ability to use its beautiful veneer to draw you in. Looking like one thing while being something else, usually something incongruent with what lurks behind the shiny procelin. It’s an art, really, one which I can respect in certain situations. Just not on my plate, please.

The day had started off pretty well, I drank a green juice and a flat white on the mini road trip that was my drive from Pretoria to Johannesburg. I had timed my drive to our book club meeting really well, and no traffic formed against me prospered. I drove under several purple canopies to boot, thanks to Jacaranda season, all seemed in alignment for more good things to unfold as the afternoon went on. But, “not on my watch”, said the uncooked food in the kitchen at Besos, waiting to ruin my day.

Walking in was an experience, naturally. They created a little walkway filled with greenery, which leads you into the restaurant. It was giving tropical oasis, I didn’t feel like I was in the little shopping complex I parked in just three minutes ago. Inside, the beige, cream, wood and soft lighting of it said, “welcome, relax”. The girls and I were dressed to the nines, ready to sip on some wine and yap about the book of the month.

Not one of us had a meal we could speak kindly of, even though our orders ranged from breakfast meals of eggs, salmon and sourdough, to heavier steak and chicken dishes. I had what they called a Gnocchi stack, which ended up being two very bland crumbed chicken schnitzels with equally unseasoned basil pesto plonked on top. Oh nkosi yam. I force-fed myself at least half of it before calling it. The best thing I ended up having was the Springfield wine we shared, a difficult one to mess up. The very average experience our palates then saw us swiftly settle our bill and head elsewhere for cake and coffee to wash down, or rather wash away our lunch.

Unfortunately, this is an all too familiar experience in Joburg: well-curated, photo-ready spaces and overpriced, basic food we all could have made at home. I say overpriced because I can’t tell you the last time I had a main meal that was under R200. It’s easier to swallow the pricetag when the food is worth it, but when it isn’t, oh, the penny pincher in me comes out. Which is why I have now come to adopt a system that distrusts any posts speaking of “new hidden gems” and simply frequenting tried and tested staples in the city.

The underwhelming encounter reminded me of a music event I really enjoy but have had to boycott for the past two years because they insist on hosting it at a restaurant (if we can call it that) infamous for terrible service and even worse food. This can’t be life. Only patronising vetted establishments and eating the same, safe meals over and over again as a trauma response to beautiful spaces masking bad food. Give us, us food Joburg.

Best bits: Journey Kwantu by Vusumzi Ngxande

Finished reading this about a week ago, but the lessons and revelations have stayed with me, interrupting my train of thought several times a day, in an effort to grapple with its many inconvenient and reality-shifting truths. 

It’s an essential read which uses the author’s personal journey with African spirituality to tell a nuanced and well researched story that contends with mythology, history and anthropology. In so doing, it presents possibilities that challenge readers’ perceptions and beliefs. 

There are many things I am still in disbelief over, like cows being one of the reasons matriarchies came to an end on the continent; cotton being one of the true assimilatory tools of colonialism and the knowledge of family lineages being lost to the (in)convenient surname system. I am forever indebted to the author for this expansive work. 

I know I will have to revisit it and look forward to that occasion. Listening to the podcast series the book is based on is my next mission, and from the snippets I have heard so far, I am in for a treat.

Sunday Scribble #7: Nothing even matters at all

When the news broke that D’Angelo had passed earlier this week, one of the first reactions I came across online read: Mind you, I thought I would’ve had a first dance to “Nothing Even Matters” by now! (a post by @yasistatorrian). To which I replied, “Oh girl, same”. The deluge of grief and love for D’Angelo that filled my timeline and inboxes this week has felt like a communal catharsis. The sadness of the loss was overridden by the reminder of his deep love of self and the other.

Like millions across the world, my first encounter with D’Angelo and his work, was through Untitled (How Does it Feel). I was very young, too young to understand the lyrics, but seeing the music video on a late-night music show on SABC 1 stayed etched in my mind. Some months later, a performance of “Send it On” and “Sex Machine” with Tom Jones on VH1, prompted me to rip the below poster from the middle of a magazine, risking judgment from my Catholic parents, sticking it front and centre on my candy white bedroom wall. At just 9, turning 10, I still didn’t grasp what the man was saying, but my ears and eyes were in agreement about his sonorous and physical beauty.

So taken was I, that I even took a photo with my film camera of said poster. Unironically sandwiched between photos of my first holy communion, which took place in the same year Voodoo was released.

The music itself was dripfed to me in the years that followed during our weekly Saturday morning and afternoon spring cleans. My brother hogged the CD player, blasting Brown Sugar and Voodoo back to back. The VH1 live performance would also join the loop, it had been recorded via our VHS machine. We actually watched a lot of live music that way, as a family over the years, now that I recall. It was only when I got my own CD player in high school, that I could start listening to and reading through lyrics on the album sleeve of Voodoo that I began to hear beyond the melodies I had grown an affinity for over the years. Finally, stretching my understanding past just “di D’Angelo” (the South African reference for his undeniable Adonis belt), into the depths of his music. For the first time, I heard what yearning sounded like from the mouth of a black man and not the page of a Jane Austen novel. I heard what sounded like the celebration and reverence of black love, a welcome intervention for a black girl who was one of only 6 in her grade, listening to Avril Lavigne and reading Saltwater Girl (quite seriously at that).

“[He] made a kind of sound that made a house for black folks to live in. Under the sound of D’Angelo’s music, our bodies would wake up to who we have been… He made the ancestral close and intimate and sexy.”

Michael J. Ivory, Jr.

By the time the masterpiece that is Black Messiah came out, I was a long-skirt-All-Star-wearing-Africa-tattooed-dreadlocked-girl, in no need of saving. When it came out, I promptly bought two CD’s, one for myself and one for my brother, so we would need not fight for or ration out our repeated listenings. Three short months after it came out, Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly came out, and that perfect pairing of love, politics, history and torment would be the soundtrack to my long car rides between Johannesburg and Pretoria that year.

We are bereft but blessed to have lived in the same time as him, to still have access to his work and thus pieces of his heart and mind.

Best bits: little gods by Meng Jin

This might be my favourite read of the year.

It is the kind of novel that doesn’t let up from the moment you start. Every sentence dripping with intellect, emotion and beautiful imagery. Jin is such an incredible writer and world builder, thoroughly enjoyed my time with her complex and complicated characters.

I would describe little gods as historical fiction that is a clever marriage of science and spirituality. The characters are frustrating yet inspiring and force you to constantly question who you are rooting for. Even the most minor characters we only engage with over a few passages are written in such great detail that an affinity is immediately fostered.

There were so many sentences that took my breath away, I cannot wait to find and read more of Jin’s work.

Sunday Scribble #6: Silence as a salve

Silence can feel like a sensory bath.

It started out of pure frustration. A day that had tested me to what felt like my limit, a mind reeling with all the things left undone, difficult conversations to be had, dreams deferred, the torment of uncertainty, and and and. As I stepped into my car and turned on the ignition, the afternoon drive show’s host sounded like the shrill screech of a drill bit being forced into an impenetrable surface. Her words jumbled into the sonic equivalent of being suffocated by the overwhelming and cacophonous voices already fighting for space in my head. In that moment, I had to switch off the car radio to stop the drilling. The sounds coming at me from the car radio were not a nifty distraction in this moment, but a loud chorus from a loudhailer that threatened the fragile state I was in.

The 30 minutes and 40 kilometres along the M1 and N1 highways that followed slowly ushered in calm, lowering the voices that had been fighting for their moment at the podium of my mind, to a whisper at first and then to nothing. Suddenly, a moment of panic was de-escalated by tuning out further distractions. Surrendering to complete silence had allowed me to turn down the volume without even trying. That single drive changed the way I commute. Now, silent drives are an essential part of my daily and weekly routine, not just in times of high stress or overwhelm, but as a key ingredient I need to stay sane. Initially, I did think of the exercise as ‘serial killer stuff’. Who can actively avoid distraction for that long and not succumb to the internal chaos they are trying to evade? Me is who.

Getting rid of music, podcasts, audiobooks, etc. can also be a meditative experience, which is ideal if you’re heading to a stressful event, or if you just need to quickly reconnect with yourself. As you drive, you can take in the scenery, enjoy a few deep breaths, or play grounding games to feel fully present — all things that are tough to do with Top 40 Hits blaring in the background.

Carolyn Steber

I didn’t even consider it a mindfulness hack until I saw a creator I follow on TikTok talk about it a few months ago. She said we are wearing our minds thin with constant stimulation, much of which we cannot process at all because of the sheer volume of inputs coming at us all day. Being silent for even 10 minutes can help you step away from the noise of the day, reduce stress and improve overall creativity. Trying to decompress with other people’s thoughts and feelings coming at you isn’t conducive to stillness and/or calming your nervous system. Even something as innocuous as listening to your favourite musician belt out their latest songs can work against this practice. Our brains don’t really know the difference between lyrics, our internalised thoughts and reality, so singing along to narratives that contradict who we are or want to be, can in fact, assist in creating an unintended reality. This has been the most difficult part of practising stillness for me, because I quite exclusively listen to ‘sad girl’ music. And don’t get me wrong, I still do, I just don’t belt out the parts that I used to identify with and say out loud that I am not the “I” being referred to. Silly, maybe, but necessary for me.

Some of the things I do in silence now include workouts at the gym, working, writing, walking, and sometimes instituting ‘no-talk time’ with loved ones. The latter is one of my favourite ways to use silence, just being near someone I love, in quiet contemplation is an act of intimacy I relish. The quiet I have embraced in my life allows me to look around more, take in my environment more fully and sometimes more meaningfully. It has also meant that I process thoughts and ideas more slowly and thoughtfully, and I am less hurried to arrive at decisions and subsequent action. I know it can be difficult to contend with having nothing but your thoughts staring back at you, but for me, this practice has meant that a once daunting task, which I actively wanted to drown out, is now something I crave and even need.

Best bits: The Great African Society by Hlumelo Biko

Unfortunately, I read this about ten years too late :/ Published in 2013, it was an analysis of SA at a very particular time.

Infuriatingly, many of the issues that plagued the country then continue to do so today, at alarming and probably irreparable rates now. I enjoyed his careful and considered analysis which incorporates history, social, psychological and economic nuances to dissect a nation that could have (at that point) become a ‘great society’.

The author also provides quite realistic and achievable solutions, some of which have come to bear and others which are still much needed. Would be interested in the author’s current reading of the state of affairs because 📉